


know where you stand (and you'll never fall)

by ShirosRedKnight (SweetFanfics)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bi Shiro, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Friends With Benefits, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Switch Shiro, Underage Drinking, passing mention of Keith/OC, some Shiro/OC in the start, starts from pre-canon and goes all the way PAST-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-14 22:43:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8031805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/ShirosRedKnight
Summary: “Whoever decided that internalizing your negative emotions and always showing a happy face was a smart idea must have been a real idiot,” Shiro was complaining to his classmates, waiting for the smuggled vodka bottle to come back to him.“It’s fucking terrible, man. But you don’t have to bottle that shit up. Just let it out. Don’t knock on experimenting with how you look. Self-expression can be super liberating.”The blonde guy next to him laughed, “You guys are forgetting the most obvious answer to your question.” Shiro and the girl both eyed the dude, watching him take a small sip before he drawled, “Sex.”--Where Shiro keeps trying to find ways to cope with all the expectations placed on him.





	know where you stand (and you'll never fall)

**Author's Note:**

> First, this is a prompt fill. The prompt from quotidiandreams was a simple friends with benefits story with sheith and the fill ran the fuck away from me. 
> 
> In this fic, you enter the GG academy when you're 18. When Keith and Shiro meet, they're 18 and going on 21 respectively and both students. 
> 
> It's 5am, I hate this fic because I didn't mean for it to get this long but it did. And I can't stand to look at it rn so I may have missed some tags and its def gonna be rife with typos.   
> Edit: Two days later and I've edited this as best as I can! There's probably some more typo's left here and there :/

From a very young age, a very specific set of expectations were put on Shiro’s shoulders. Be polite, be kind. Respect your elders and your teachers. Do well in school. Be friendly and on good terms with the people around you. Follow the letter of the law.

 

A very precise tower of Jenga blocks rising up into the sky, one block at a time. Wobbling faintly at the first B+ he got in middle school. And again when he started high school, a harder tremor that almost toppled the tower.

 

“Dude, you know what you need?” Shiro’s best friend, Laura, advised him, stuffing a book into his messy locker. “You need some way to like, channel you frustrations out. That’s what my sister keeps saying. That she needs some kind of ‘creative outlet’ when her studies get too much for her.”

 

“I’m not really a crafts kind of guy...” Shiro frowned down at his A- report and wondered how long of a worried lecture he was going to get this time. This was the third such grade he'd gotten since school had started...

 

With an amused snort, Laura plucked another book out of her locker and crammed it into her bag, “Yeah, can’t see that either. What about sports though? Try-outs are coming up for a lot of teams. Football, track, some other stuff.”

 

He shrugged non-committedly, folding the report up into a neat square before slipping it into his maths book, “I’ll think about it.”

 

Shiro would up doing track for all three years, and as Laura had said, it was what he needed. He poured his frustrations, worries, and fear out on the track. Every sweat soaking into the cracked ground meant another moment of peace to greedily hang onto at the end of the day.

 

\--

 

The tower stood rock steady, easily withstanding the additional expectations of AP classes, SAT scores, college admissions, and the Galaxy Garrison’s pilot training program admissions test. His mother took to praising him and fretting him in equal parts during the last month. Shiro smiled reassuringly and told her he could handle it. 

 

Until he actually got to the academy and Shiro couldn’t use sports as his usual outlet.

 

The rigorous academic demands of the academy's training meant giving up track. At best, the other option open to him was hitting the gym in what little free time he had. So, Shiro upped his personal training regiment and it helped. Up to a limit. He checked out some associations and clubs but they didn’t seem like a good fit. Hell, he even tried alcohol but that just made him a philosophical, boring drunk.

 

\--

 

“Whoever decided that internalizing your negative emotions and always showing a happy face was a smart idea must have been a real _idiot_ ,” Shiro was complaining to his classmates, waiting for the smuggled vodka bottle to come back to him.

 

A dark-skinned girl with a truly outrageously cheekbones and full lips Shiro wanted to kiss took a sip, shuddered, and passed him the bottle “It’s fucking terrible, man. But you don’t have to bottle that shit up. Just let it out. Don’t knock on experimenting with how you look. Self-expression can be super liberating.”

 

He was too drunk and too hazy to explain it wasn’t that easy. Plus, getting his undercut with the long fringe was about the height of experimentation he could do with himself. Shiro didn’t even want to think about the kind of shit storm he’d have to live through if his parents found out he’d gotten a tattoo or a piercing or anything like that. They’d been bad enough when he’d shown up with half his hair buzzed off.

 

So instead, he said, “I used to be able to let it by running track but now its... I don’t have time for that.” He took a long swallow from the bottle, passed it along to the next guy, and waited for the antsy feeling under his veins to soothe away. 

 

The blonde guy next to him laughed, “You guys are forgetting the most _obvious_ answer to your question.” Shiro and the girl both eyed the dude, watching him take a small sip before he drawled, “Sex.”

 

“We’re trying to be serious here, Bobby.”

 

“No, really,” Bobby insisted leaning in, cheeks flushed ruddy red, “There’s been research done on this too. It’s honestly a seriously good way to get all your stress out. Like, think about it. Don’t you feel all relaxed and shit after a good orgasm? Plus how like, physical it is and stuff? It’s _the perfect_ way to de-stress and get rid of all the bad brain junk building up in your system.”

 

“Dude, if its brain junk how can it be building in your system?” Another person in their circle asked but Shiro didn’t pay attention to the answer because sex... that was something he hadn’t thought could be a viable outlet.

 

Glancing over at the lovely girl with the striking cheekbones, Shiro saw a kindred realization. And as they left the abandoned supply room together, Shiro asked, “What do you think about what Bobby said? About sex and stress.”

 

“Usually I think Bobby is fully of shit,” she replied dryly, causing Shiro to snicker, “but I think he might be onto something with this.” Her dark eyes glimmered when they locked onto him, “Do you want to try it?”

 

Dry mouthed and dizzy, Shiro had nodded. “Your room or mine?”

 

\--

 

They’d wound up doing it in the janitor’s closet a couple of feet away. And at the end agreed that for once, Bobby was right. Additionally, they agreed that the next time they felt particularly burdened, stressed out, or generally frustrated by the pressure put on them? They’d come find the other.

 

It was a good first year because of his agreement with Keke. She understood what it was like being burdened with all of your parents expectations _and then some_. She sympathized and never told him his worries were unfounded. She taught him that the best way to clear his mind? Was having his face pushed down on a bed and getting fucked to an inch of his life.

 

A few weeks before they graduated into their second year, Keke called their arrangement off.

 

“I met a guy,” she’d explained and that was the end of that.

 

\--

 

After Keke came David, shorter than Shiro and lovely almond shaped eyes. It was a remarkably short lived-affair because he kept pushing Shiro to do more than he was comfortable doing. That was when Shiro realized he needed to be more careful about who to enter into his 'arrangement' with. It was important to be scrupulous in his choice of partners.

 

In the middle of his second year, he met and dated Andrew. Lanky, serious, often with his nose in a book. He didn't _quite_ understand Shiro but at least didn't push the issue after Shiro asked him not to do so. Due to personal reasons, Andrew dropped out before completing the year and told Shiro that he didn’t believe in long distance relationships working out.

 

His third year started with yet _another_ responsibility being placed into his hands. “We’d like you to be a cadet officer,” Iverson told him, fingers linked on top of his desk. “Look after a group of first years and show them the ropes. Make sure they understand what’s expected of them. Be a mentor to them.”

 

Shiro’s training kicked in before he could even process the decision and he wanted to hit himself for it all the way back to his room. He was already up to his eyeballs in work. Why’d he agreed to mentor a bunch of newbies on top of that?

 

 _Because that’s what I was taught_ , he’d thought bitterly, changing directions half-way and making for Ren’s room rather than his own. He needed to get fucked tonight. Ren had greeted him with wet hair and a smirk pulling up her pink lips.

 

"What do you need?" She'd asked.

 

Ask and yee shall receive.

 

\--

 

A week later, Shiro found himself being joined at the lunch table by three other cadet officers. Their trays clattered against the table, adding to the general ambient noises of the loud Mess Hall.

 

“Are your Nuggets as dumb as mine?" Jimmy begged, "Please say yes and give me hope that Iverson doesn’t have it out for me.”

 

Snorting, Angie answered, “Na, Iverson _definitely_ has it out for you.”

 

“Mine are fine too,” Shiro offered sheepishly. “Sorry Jimmy.”

 

“I hate my life.” Angie patted Jimmy’s back with faux sympathy before digging into her wrap. “What about you Vi? What’s your group like?”

 

Rolling her eyes, Vi stabbed a potato piece in her tray, “Fine. Except for this one hot head who thinks he’s better than everyone else.”

 

“There’s one in every group.”

 

“Unfortunately this one’s got the talent to back it up. Which means his attitude is through the fucking roof.”

 

Interest stirred, Shiro leaned forward to ask, “What’s his name.”

 

“Keith. Keith Kogane,” Vi gaze turned to meet his, eyes bright. “Hey! Do you think you could talk to him?”

 

Reeling back, Shiro asked, “What? _Why_?”

 

“I dunno! Just... talk to him like, one ace pilot to another. Help me figure out what his deal is so I can stop getting chewed out about why I’m a sucky leader who can’t help her Nuggets.”

 

Shoulders sagging, Shiro groaned and knew he’d regret this, “I’m not making any promises but I’ll try. What was his name again? Kobain?”

 

“Ko _gane_.”

 

\--

 

Before he’d met him, all Shiro knew about Keith came from secondary sources. Vi described him as an ace pilot with an attitude problem. According to his instructors, Keith had the potential to become the best pilot of his generation if only he'd apply himself. His peers described him as good looking guy, smart enough, bit of a loner, and with a weird sense of humor. 

 

 _None_  of those descriptions came even close to doing Keith justice.

 

Sure he was pretty. Sure he was a loner. Keith's sense of humor was more geared towards sarcasm than anything else, with an odd tendency to miss a lot of figurative jokes. He was also seeking a challenge when it came to flying. The hot flash of excitement that burned in his eyes was a feeling Shiro was well acquainted with. He also sucked spectacularly at all things physics. 

 

He was also someone Shiro wound up offering to help out of ingrained manners.

 

Keith had stared at him like he’d suddenly sprouted a second head. “Thanks but I’m fine. I’ll figure it out.”

 

Shiro had nodded, “Okay but if you change your mind. I’m here to help.”

 

\--

 

It was Vi who’d come to him asking for a favor, palms clasped together.

 

“ _Please_  tutor Keith for me. I suck at astrophysics and that’s your best subject.”

 

Again, good manners made him accept before he could stop himself.

 

\--

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah,” Shiro smiled at Keith as he sat down across the table, charmed by the confused look being directed his way. “Good to see you again Keith.”

 

The look in Keith’s eyes very clearly said, _I can’t say the same_.

 

\--

 

In the weeks that followed, Shiro learned so much more about Keith. He got frustrated easily when he couldn’t figure the solution out. He didn’t like coffee unless it was seven parts milk and one part coffee. He chewed on his pencils when thinking. His rationality was more intuitive than logical. He'd never get over hating physics but  _loved_ self-defense. 

 

And he was pretty observant in the oddest of ways.

 

“You don’t really want to be here, do you?”

 

Head snapping up in surprise, Shiro stares at Keith's thoughtful face and asked, “Wha-?”

 

Drumming his pencil against the table, Keith repeated himself, “You don’t really want to be here. You don’t want to tutor me.”

 

“I _do_ want to tutor you.”

 

Keith’s dark blue eyes narrowed, weighing Shiro’s words before asking, “You sure you’re not just doing this because someone asked you to do this and you couldn’t say no? Some kind of weird misplaced desire to please people?”

 

With a startled blink, Shiro found himself asking, “How did y- did Vi tell you that?”

 

“No,” the soft drumming sound stopped. “I could just tell.”

 

\--

 

 _What else had he unwittingly told Keith?_ Shiro wondered later that night, trying to stop his hand from trembling. _Or rather, how much had Keith picked up on his own?_

 

Entirely too much as it were.

 

\--

 

“You could tell them no. That _is_  an option.”

 

Shiro laughed, short and bitter, “No it’s not.” He pressed the back of his head harder against the concrete wall, staring up at the stars they wanted him to pilot a ship up into. His fingernails scratched against rough concrete as Shiro curled his hands into fists. 

 

What the fuck were they thinking? He was only in his third year! Could they _really_  not find _any_  other graduate pilot to fly this mission to the ISS? Was Shiro their only option?

 

Keith’s hesitant fingers came to rest on his shoulders, “Yeah, it is Shiro. You can _always_ say no. That is  _always_ an option. Screw what they expect you to do. What do you _want_  to do? Do you _want_  to do this?”

 

Heart hammering inside his chest, Shiro didn’t dare look at Keith. He stared unblinkingly up at the night sky and whispered, “I don’t know.”

 

Keith’s fingers slipped away. Shiro wished he’d kept his hand there, grounding him to Earth. “Would you say yes?”

 

“Yeah,” Keith answered immediately, shifting next to him, legs stretched out before him now. “But that’s because I _want_  to go up there. I don’t care about what they want me to be.”

 

Envy, deep and yawning, cracked his chest in two. “How do you do that?” Shiro found himself asking, tilting his head to peer at Keith. 

 

Watched him shrug easily, “Easily? I mean. They’re not people who’s expectations matter to me. They're not important to me. So why would I give a shit what they want me to be?”

 

 _Was it that easy_? Shiro marveled. _Could it really be that easy?_

 

\--

 

It was one of those easier said than done things. Which meant that Shiro accepted the mission.

 

\--

 

“Bring me back a space rock,” Keith teased, backing away towards the door.

 

Rolling his eyes, Shiro replied, “Sure. I’ll stop by the ISS souvenir shop and bring you back a glowing space rock. That good with you?”

 

Keith laughed, taking another step back before jumping when the opening door almost cracked the back of his head. 

 

“Whoops! Sorry!” Roger apologized, eyes widening when he realized there was someone standing behind the door. “Didn’t hit you, did I?”

 

“No. Just barely missed,” Keith reassured the taller man with a faint smile.

 

With another apology, the man turned to Shiro and quirked an eyebrow. Wordlessly questioning Keith’s presence in the room. Shiro cleared his throat and smiled at Keith, “I’ll see you when I come back?”

 

There was a sharp look in Keith’s eyes as they flitted between Shiro and Roger, who had casually dropped down on Shiro’s bed and pulled out the book tucked under the pillow. Flipped it open to a random page and started reading it, pushing one long braid over his ear while doing so. 

 

The way Keith looked at him was indescribable. Too complex for a simple word. But Shiro understood that Keith _knew_  why Roger was there, and flushed. 

 

“Yeah. I’ll see you then.”

 

\--

 

They never talked about it, not even once. In fact, Keith didn't  _ever_ bring it up. 

 

Another thing they never talked about again? Was their rooftop talk and how Shiro didn’t have to bend over backwards to accommodate and/or match the expectations people placed on him. 

 

From the looks Keith would give him sometimes, Shiro could tell he wanted to bring it up but was stopping himself. 

 

\--

 

“We’re friends right?”

 

Keith blinked at him, surprised by the sudden question, “Yeah, I guess we are.”

 

“Then you’d stop me if I was about to make a dumb decision right?”

 

“Kinda depends on what it is,” Keith was eyeing him warily.

 

Taking a deep breath, Shiro curled his fingers into the back of his chair before releasing the grip, dropping his weight forward so that the back legs dropped to the floor with a heavy thud, “I’m gonna apply for the Kerberos mission.”

 

“You’re...”

 

He rambled on before Keith could continue, wanting Keith’s shocked expression to turn into something else. Delight would be ideal but he’d settle for something less positive too. “It’s a long shot but I think I could get it. The competition is gonna be hell but... I want to try for it.”

 

Something akin to pride flashed in Keith’s eyes, the corner of his mouth turning up into a crooked smile, “You want too huh?”

 

A fine shiver ran up his arms, causing goose flesh to rise, “Yeah.”

 

“Cool,” Keith’s smile whisked away all the doubt that had been swirling inside him. Pushed out his parents negative hesitation and his instructors attempt to cautiously bring his hope down. 

 

He could do this, other people's expectations be damned.

 

\--

 

Those few months before he got on the rocket to the distant Pluto moon were memories Shiro often revisited in later days. They were halcyon times dyed warm tones that allowed him remember that there was more to his world than just black and purple and pain.

 

He’d try to remember the different books Keith would bring him with a, “I thought this might help.” The sheer amount of effort he’d put into passing the exam once the committee had accepted his application, staying up well into the night and living on terribly bitter coffee. The gentleness with which Roger had taken him apart a few days before his exam, his broad hands keeping Shiro close after they were done.

 

“You’ll be great,” Roger had murmured into the back of his neck, kissing his buzzcut.

 

“We’ll go to that burger place once you come back,” Keith had promised, fingers squeezing Shiro's hand.

 

“Good luck out there Shirogane,” Iverson had told him.

 

Lying in the corner of his cell, Shiro curled into a tighter ball and hated himself for having let so many people down.

 

\--

 

There were stages to the manifestation of all the pressures weighing on his shoulders. 

 

The first stage was having trouble falling asleep. 

 

He attributed his insomnia to PTSD and the general anxiety of being on the run from Zarkon’s forces. Not to mention the responsibilities that came with being the leader meant having to stay up a bit longer than the others, reading up as much as he could about whatever new planet or threat they were facing. Forewarned was forearmed and all that jazz. 

 

The second stage was a headache that remained dormant until he moved too quickly. Then it was like a shard glass rattling against his soft brain. 

 

Shiro assumed he was sporting a headache because he wasn’t sleeping enough. That and he’d knocked his head a little too hard during his one-on-one training with Hunk.

 

The third stage was a rising irritability which made him snap at the people around him. 

 

The surprised looks he’d gotten from _everyone_  when he'd snapped at Keith during one of the training drills had made Shiro flush and apologize, “Sorry. Here, you try leading him Hunk.”

 

The fourth undeniable stage that he _needed_  to find a safe outlet for venting were nightmares of his failures. 

 

Shiro had again chalked it up to PTSD. Until he started dreaming of Lance telling him he was disappointed in Shiro.  _‘You’re not my hero. You’re not the man I thought you were.’_ Dream Lance’s voice echoed in his head while he stared sightlessly at the far wall.

 

 _Fuck_ , Shiro realized, shivering in a cooling puddle of his own sweat, clammy hands clutching his head.

 

Who the hell could he go to for help? Who could he trust about this?

 

“Fuck,” Shiro cursed, dropping his face into his hands at the realization there really was only _one_  person on the ship he could go to.

 

\--

 

Keith listened carefully, attentively, seated next to Shiro on the older paladin's bed. Probably picking up a hundred other details Shiro wasn’t sharing (couldn’t share) as he spoke. Keith's usually stoic expression was softened by the blush on his cheeks and the gentle slope of his shoulders as he leaned forward on his knees to watch Shiro talk.

 

“Is that the only way? To help?”

 

“I tried training more but...” Shrug shrugged helplessly.

 

Keith exhaled long and low, fingers linked in between his legs. His expression turned thoughtful and distant, “So Roger wasn’t your boyfriend. He was your sex friend?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

And then silence. 

 

It felt brittle and suffocating at the same time, waiting for Keith’s judgement and decision. Shiro struggled to hold himself still and not give his nervousness away, even as he realized it may be a lost cause given that this was Keith. He probably knew how on the edge Shiro was in that moment.

 

Shiro held his breath when Keith breathed in, knowing that the verdict was here. 

 

“Thanks for trusting me,” Keith said, glancing over at Shiro with a tiny smile. “That means a lot to me. And uuh. About your... offer. Could I think about it and get back to you?”

 

Uncertainty and hope clashed in his chest. Was this good or bad? Shiro couldn’t tell.

 

“Sure. Take your time.”

 

\--

 

Keith was back in front of his door the next night, peering up into Shiro’s shocked face with determination when he said, “I’ll do it.”

 

\--

 

There was one rule about picking a sex friend that Shiro _always_  followed: don’t ask your friend if they’d do you a solid and fuck you every so often to help you clear your brain. Not only did it make sense not to jeopardize a friendship like that, but also? It would mean avoiding the awkwardness of their present situation.

 

“This is really...” Keith cut himself off, scrubbing his naked palm down his face as he stood in the middle of the room, sighing heavily. “How do you want to do this?”

 

Shiro nodded at the bed, “Why don’t you sit down.” 

 

He waited for Keith to settle before approaching him slowly, studying Keith for any sign that he wanted to back out. There were none. He relaxed into his seat, hands sinking into the mattress as he observed Shiro approach him through hooded lids. Keith barely moved, not even when Shiro carefully straddled Keith’s hips and placed his hands gently on the younger man’s shoulders.

 

Keith’s eyebrows twitched, a small smile curling his lips up. His hands were points of heat against Shiro’s thighs, causing him to shiver. God... when was the last time someone had touched him with gentle intent like this?

 

"I’m gonna kiss you,” Shiro warned huskily, palms sweeping up Keith’s neck.

 

With a pleased little noise, Keith’s eyes fluttered shut, lips parted. Waiting. Shiro closed the gap between them, pressed their open mouths together in a long, sweet kiss that had him wondering why he’d ever thought trusting Keith with this could be a bad idea.

 

They kissed over and over again, pulling back with soft smacks, coming back in with quieter moans. Keith’s hands squeezed his thighs, moved up to trace the curve of Shiro’s spine, curled behind his shoulders. Slid back down smoothly to cup Shiro's ass and haul him closer. 

 

His own hands did their fair share of learning what Keith felt like. He was lean lines of muscles that made Shiro groan. There was strength in him, as evidenced by the way he had hefted Shiro closer to him before deepening their kiss. Fingers squeezing the muscles _right_  under Shiro’s ass.

 

Mind reeling, Shiro pulled away. Ran his tongue over his kiss-swollen lips and groaned when Keith chased after him for another kiss. “Keith...”

 

“Mmm, yeah?”

 

“I know I said that...” Shiro panted as Keith pressed a soft bite into his jaw, oh _God_ that felt good, “I need to have s-sex but could we just... keep doing this?”

 

Keith’s answer was a rushed, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you want.” before falling back on the bed with a soft _fwup,_ insistent hands pulling Shiro down with him. 

 

Their lips met over and over and over again until Shiro felt nothing but a collection of raw nerve ends being soothed by the contact of Keith's thin lips.

 

\--

 

That was how they started.

 

Heated kisses and curious hands. Soft chuckles when their hands would brush against ticklish spots. Quiet confessions about their love lives. Learning new aspects of each other’s personalities. Firm discussions on what worked, what was allowed, and what wasn't negotiable.

 

What was surprising to Shiro was his desire to take things slow for once. Usually he would just... get into it with his partner. But this time... Shiro wanted to take his time. He chalked it up to the fact that it had been a long time since his last partner. He knew he was touch starved so this was just... it was like rain after a drought and Shiro was soaking it all up slowly, letting it sink in rather than turn into an overwhelming flood. That was probably why each kiss and touch felt more intense than ever before. 

 

Also surprising, and yet not so, was the gentleness with which Keith touched him. Like Shiro was someone to be treasured. Even his firmer touches, like when he’d grab tug Shiro into a kiss, roll him over, or pull him down to bed, were still filled with reverence. They made his lips wobbly with embarrassed delight. (As did the way Keith stared at his naked body, looking beyond the scars littering his body, but that was another story.)

 

It was good. _So_  good. To the point that he was slipping into Keith’s room or vice versa every night. Craving Keith's kisses and touches desperately. By the end of the week, there was no awkwardness left between them. They’d grin and slip into each other’s arms easily, kissing like they’d been doing it for years instead of days. Walking back together, laughing in between kisses as their hands shucked each others jackets off. Falling back onto the bed together. 

 

Pushing the relationship a little bit further every time.

 

\--

 

When Keith paused beside the bed, Shiro gently pushed him down into a seated position. Grinned at the small pout he got when he resisted Keith’s gentle tugs.

 

“What are you waiting for?”

 

“Nothing,” Shiro purred, dropping sinuously down in between Keith’s knees, palms sliding slowly up the covered thighs. Grinned at the sudden widening of Keith’s eyes, fingers inching closer to the crotch before them. 

 

Opened his mouth to ask Keith if this was okay but the younger paladin beat him to the punch and spread his legs wider, hissing, “ _Yes._ ”

 

Shiro took a moment to marvel at how Keith always seemed to anticipate his actions. Then forgot all about it when Keith’s hands moved to unbuckle his pants. 

 

His fingers gently shooed Keith’s away, coupled with a firm, “Let me.” Keith immediately pulled away, dropping down to his elbows to watch Shiro. His eyes remained locked on Shiro the whole time - from when he pulled Keith’s hard member out to when Shiro sank all the way down on his slim length before he started moving. 

 

It was only at the end, shortly after Keith’s cock twitched against Shiro’s tongue, that Keith finally broke eye contact. Eyes squeezed shut, the short gasps turned into longer groans, hips twitching up into Shiro’s mouth as he came in short, hot spurts.

 

\--

 

The rate at which things escalated from there on was exponential.

 

Whatever Shiro did to Keith, Keith returned with twice as much enthusiasm and vigor. Always insisting that he wanted Shiro to feel as good as he was making Keith feel. And he never let his inexperience stop him either. No, he took Shiro’s instructions to heart and with speed. Like all Keith wanted to _do_  was learn how to make Shiro feel good.

 

“You don’t have to go this far for me,” Shiro pointed out, watching Keith pull his shirt on, trying not to feel sad as the hickies he’d left on Keith’s pale skin disappeared from sight. He'd enjoyed leaving the constellation of red marks across Keith's back while fucking him.

 

With an amused little snort, Keith turned and shot Shiro a quick grin, “It’s worth it.”

 

Ego stroked by the lustful look Keith was giving him, Shiro stretched and rolled over on his side to let the sheet slip off his hips. He grinned at the indecision that swept over Keith before he rolled his eyes and muttered to the ceiling, “You’re such a damned tease.”

 

“Consider it pay back for yesterday.”

 

“If I remember correctly...” Keith pointed out lowly, walking up to the edge of the bed before leaning down to tap Shiro’s cheek. “You enjoyed it.”

 

Shiro demurely kiss the calloused digit, feeling a shiver run through him at the memory of the _very_ intense orgasm Keith had built him up too. “Yeah. I did.” 

 

He wasn’t sure if it was the look he gave Keith or the husky tone of his voice. But _something_  made the other man moan and crawl back on top of Shiro, grinding his hips against Shiro’s with a wanton moan.

 

"You're so..." Keith shook his head, shivering as Shiro's fingers crept under his briefs to squeeze his ass quickly before pushing the soft material up to access his twitching hole.

 

Shiro grinned, watching Keith's expression twist with pleasure, "So what?" 

 

Shaking his head, Keith moaned deeply and caught Shiro's lips in a hard kiss.

 

He never got an answer for that question. 

 

\--

 

"Do you know what’s up with Keith?” Pidge asked him one day out of the blue.

 

Poking his head around Green’s paw, Shiro asked, “What? Is something wrong?”

 

Pidge shook her head, continuing to scrub the large sponge in precise circles against her lion, “Nothing’s wrong. He’s just been in a really good mood for the last three weeks. It’s kind of weird. Did you know him and Lance haven’t had even _one_  fight the whole time?”

 

Shiro ducked back behind Green’s paw to hide his grin because he may or may not have had a hand in that. “Maybe something good happened to him.”

 

“Maybe he found some happy pills and forgot to share,” Pidge snarked under her breath. “You really don’t think its weird?”

 

“Nope. He used to be like this before you know.” That wasn’t _technically_  a lie. Sure past Keith was a lot more sociable and easier to get along with than his present prickly version but... Even then he hadn’t been _this_  ... soft. So quick to smile, so relaxed, so easy to capture with one hand and guide into a kiss with the other.

 

 _Good sex_ , Shiro muffled his laugh against the back of his wrist, _really is a great de-stressor_.

 

\--

 

He didn’t have the strength to do more than whimper softly when Keith pulled out of him, already feeling so _sore_. 

 

“Sorry,” Keith apologized, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before shifting out of bed. 

 

Eyes still closed, Shiro slowly let his hips slide down, shifting to lie on his side and marvel at how open and wet he felt. It was easier to think about that than the argument he’d had with the Princess over their next course of action.

 

Just remembering that had Shiro tensing all over again, cursing his brain for going back to that topic so soon. It was the last thing he wanted to think about at present.

 

Would Keith be up for fucking him again? Or maybe just fingering him until he came again. Shiro could maybe come a third tim-

 

The wet touch on the small of his back jerked Shiro out of his thoughts. Glancing over his shoulder, Shiro saw Keith's apologetic expression. “Sorry,” Keith said, a wet washcloth held in his hand, “Too cold?”

 

“No,” Shiro sighed, willing himself to relax and enjoy the clean up process. But it just wasn’t possible with Allura’s angry voice ringing in his head.

 

“You’re thinking about Allura said, aren’t you?”

 

With a quite laugh, Shiro asked, “Was it that obvious?”

 

The washcloth was replaced by Keith’s body, lying down behind him before pulling Shiro close. “Yeah.”

 

Shiro waited for more. Waited to be told that everything would be okay, that he needed to try harder, maybe he should compromise. But instead Keith pressed closer. Kissed the shell of Shiro’s ear and asked, “Another?”

 

He sighed in relief, unable to explain the burning in the corner of his eyes as he murmured back, “Yeah, please.”

 

"How do you want it?"

 

Shiro reached back to grab Keith's hand and guided him down between his slick cheeks.

 

\--

 

Everything was good for a few months. 

 

They continued to act like usual in front of the others but behind closed doors? Keith became Shiro’s safe haven. 

 

Someone to depend on. Someone to hug and kiss and laugh with, reminiscing over old and new adventures. Someone to curl up in bed with at the end of a long day. Someone to expose his entirety too and feel safe in the knowledge that he wouldn’t be pitied or humiliated.

 

Keith chided him when he was taking on too much. Held his arms open when Shiro walked in with drooped shoulders. Kissed his forehead, nose, cheek, asked what Shiro needed, and gave it to him.

 

He teased and reassured in equal parts. Respected and challenged his decisions. Was his right-hand man, friend, and lover all wrapped up in a pretty package with dark hair Shiro loved combing his fingers through.

 

And he  _loved_ Keith.

 

Shiro just wished he’d realized that _sooner_. Then maybe he’d had asked Keith our first and not gone about things totally ass-backwards.

 

\--

 

There was a split second after the door opened where their gazes met. It was enough for Shiro to catch Keith schooling his expression into something more cool and aloof before asking, “You wanted to talk?”

 

“Yeah,” Shiro exhaled, feeling like a giant bundle of nerves. He took a step back, watching Keith walk in and stand in the middle of the room. Cross his arms and turn towards Shiro, one eyebrow rising up sharply.

 

Staring at the tense lines of Keith’s body, Shiro decided it didn’t matter they’d started things off in the wrong order. It didn’t matter because in the end? His feelings for Keith were the same. And he wanted Keith to know that as soon as possible. Wanted to reassure him that it wasn’t... that there was a good reason why he’d been low-key avoiding Keith for the last few days.

 

Licking his lips, Shiro gathered his courage and approached Keith. “About the last few days... I’m sorry for avoiding you. There’s something I needed to think about on my own.”

 

“Are you done thinking about it?” Keith asked, giving nothing away in his voice. No anger, no curiosity. God, this would be so much easier if Keith would just... give him _some_  clue or hint about how he was feeling.

 

Shiro nodded, taking another step forward until he was toe-to-toe with Keith. He swallowed audibly trying to wet his dry throat but it didn’t help. “Do you want to know what I’d been thinking about?” Didn’t wait for Keith to answer before raising both hands to gently grasp Keith’s arms and answer his own question, “You. I’d been thinking about you.”

 

Oddly, his words made Keith stiffen up. Something close to wild panic flew by Keith’s face before he quickly shifted into his usual defensive scowl, “What about me?”

 

“About how much I want to date you,” Shiro shared honestly. 

 

Keith’s eyes widened in surprise, lips moving soundlessly for a few seconds before he breathed out, “ _What_?” He sounded more surprised than when Shiro had asked him to be his sex friend, and that was _saying_  something.

 

With a weak smile, Shiro answered, “I want to date you. I want everything we’ve been doing and more. I want to hold your hand when we’re in the lounge with the others. I don’t want to have to hide you or how I feel about you. I want... I want to be your support as much as you’re mine.”

 

There was a moment, a wild, long moment, where Keith just stared up at him in shock and Shiro feared Keith had never seen him as a potential love interest. That his shock was rooted in ‘How am I going to reject him gently’.

 

But then Keith’s hands came up, gripping his forearms so tight it _hurt._ “You already are,” Keith breathed out, a tinge of desperation in his voice, dark eyes wide open. “Shiro, you already _are_  my support. You...” He stopped, shook his head in frustration before pushing up on his tip toes to kiss Shiro fiercely and passionately.

 

Shiro sucked in a surprised breath before answering _immediately_. His hold on Keith tightened, pulling him closer, until they were chest to chest. The kiss was too much pressure and teeth, and it hurt. It was the best kiss of Shiro’s life because when they pulled away, Keith confessed, “Do you have _any_  idea how long I’ve liked you?”

 

Blinking dazedly, Shiro asked, “Since when?”

 

“Since you started tutoring me.”

 

It took a second for that to click. “That was _years_  ago!”

 

Keith bashfully ducked his head, shrugging the shocked comment off. But Shiro continued to stare, catching Keith’s jaw with a palm and making their eyes meet again. 

 

“Really?” he asked, an unspeakably bittersweet emotion swelling in him. At Keith’s nod, Shiro wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. Buried his face against Keith’s shoulder and groaned, “I’m so sorry. I never noticed.”

 

A million different comments from the past rushed through his mind. When he’d dismissed Keith’s words as just bouts of sentimentality instead of the casual confessions of love they were supposed to be.

 

Shiro groaned again, rubbing his forehead into Keith’s dark tee, “I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

 

“We both are. Makes us a perfect match,” Keith joked weakly, hands fisted in Shiro’s shirt. 

 

He laughed, pulling back to cup Keith’s face with both hands. Shiro’s thumbs stroked soft lines into the younger paladin’s skin, smiling as Keith smiled at him, “I like you. _So_  much.”

 

“Me too,” Keith murmured, capturing Shiro's face in return between his warm palms, “ _So_  damn much.”

\--

 

A long, long time ago, on a night where he’d questioned his very worth, Keith had told him that he should only care about the expectations of the people that mattered. It was a concept Shiro had never understood.

 

Until he stood in front of his team, holding Keith’s hand and waited for their reactions. 

 

That was when he finally understood. 

 

“Glad you finally decided to go public,” Hunk laughed, sweeping the pair of them up in a hug. “I was starting to think we’d have to have some kind of intervention.”

 

Allura laughed, “Indeed! I’m happy for both of you.”

 

Coran was patting their back as soon as Hunk let them go, making them wheeze, “This calls for a celebration! Perhaps some of the good nunvil?”

 

“No, no! That won’t be necessary!” Shiro immediately answered, smiling far too broadly at the alien man. “We appreciate the sentiment.”

 

“I call first dibs on Keith’s room,” Lance piped up, hand half raised.

 

Keith immediately whipped his head around to eye his team mate, “ _What_? Why?”

 

“Because if you and Shiro are dating and it’s serious, which it is, you’re probably gonna move into Shiro’s room so. I call dibs on your room.”

 

Sporting a thoroughly confused expression Keith asked, “Why do you first dibs?”

 

"What  _are_ dibs?" Allura asked Pidge on the side.

 

Lance spoke over her, “You’ve got a bigger bathroom than I do.”

 

“They’re literally the same size Lance,” Hunk pointed out.

 

Lance immediately shot off, “Nope! They’re not! I measured!”

 

“When the fuck did you sneak into my room to check that?” Keith asked, right as Pidge declared, “I’m gonna go change my door’s key right _now_.”

 

Dazed and light headed, Shiro hung back to watch Keith and Lance bicker with Hunk playing mediator. _Huh, Keith was right_. 

 

"About what?” Allura asked softly by his side.

 

Shiro jumped, not realizing he'd shared the thought aloud. Allura smiled placidly at him, waiting for him to collect himself. He turned to look back at the trio, smiled faintly as Hunk firmly interrupted the pair with a sharp comment that made both Keith and Lance flush, “That no one would make a fuss.”

 

“Did you think we would?”

 

"I was scared of that,” Shiro confessed with a breathless laugh.

 

Allura gently squeezed his arm, “Don’t ever be scared of being yourself with us Shiro. We’re family now and family accepts each other as they are. You can depend on us to have your chest.”

 

Snorting, Shiro dropped his hand on top of hers and corrected her, “Have your back.”

 

Clicking her tongue, Allura patted his arm again before saying, “Your Earth sayings are so strange. My point is we’re here for you.” Next to her, Coran nodded in agreement, shooting him a thumbs up as well.

 

Flushing, Shiro rubbed his buzz cut before answering, “That means a lot to me. Thank you.”

 

And for the first time in his life, Shiro felt the weight on his shoulders lift of its own accord. He straightened his shoulders with a small crack, smiling freely as he walked over to Keith and kissed his cheek.

 

His conversation with Hunk and Lance came to an abrupt stop. Keith stared up at him in confusion, “What was that for?”

 

“Nothing. Just for being you,” Shiro nuzzled his nose into Keith’s hair to hide his happy smile. A confused arm wrapped around his back, patting his back before Keith went back to discussing what did and didn’t count as PDA. Apparently there were ground rules they'd have to follow.

 

Closing his eyes, Shiro breathed out a sigh and decided it was time to take the Jenga tower down and rebuild it into something smaller. Less stressful and more manageable. 

 

It was high time he started living his own life with being shackled. He propped his chin on Keith’s head, smiling as the trio bickered over something. 

 

Shiro was really looking forward to seeing what the future held. 

**Author's Note:**

> [hugh dancy voice] I'M OUT.


End file.
